How hard to you work to overcome resistance and negativity? If you're an optimistic, courageous and self-confidant person, you'll try pretty hard to overcome resistance and negativity. That's the definition of optimism--I can do it!
It's become clear to me--an always optimistic and courageous person--that sometimes these qualities don't serve us well. We invest time, energy and emotions in situations where the other person/group is entrenched in negativity. That is their mindset, their choice about the way to see the world. They've taken reasonable questioning and healthy skepticism to another dimension--resistance for the sake of resistance. It's a powerful form of control, manipulation and abuse.
I've identified three characteristics of these people who have chosen negativity and resistance:
- They always talk about their concerns but they never offer solutions or alternatives
- They talk critically about your behavior but never about their own
- They tell you to win them over--but they don't offer any goals or measurements to work towards--thus they can change the rules on you and never be "won over"
When you find yourself facing a person with unrelenting resistance and negativity, recognize these behaviors and then disengage. They do not deserve your efforts. Either the project isn't that important or you can find another way to achieve it. And when the resistant, negative person behaves in any or all of these ways, call them on it. You deserve better and your company, your colleagues, your customers and your clients deserve better.
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