Great Speaking Coach

Giving First Persuades Audiences to Give in Return

You need a favor pretty quick. So you open your conversation with a colleague by mentioning a recent favor you've done for him or you offer to do a favor in the near future. Then, and only then, do you ask him to do this favor for you. You've learned from an early age that giving first is a successful way of getting something given to you.

Reciprocation is one of the six weapons of influence described by Cialdini, Martin and Goldstein in Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive. When people feel they owe you, you'll be more persuasive than if you simply rely on logic to build your case for them to act.

You can apply the influencing tactic of reciprocation to influence audiences as well as individuals. Since you're not likely to be able to offer a specific favor to each individual in an audience, you need to think more broadly. Here are three opportunities to persuade your audiences through reciprocation:

1) Give some intellectual property in your speech/presentation which has understandable value to the audience. If you have written a small book, give it to attendees. If you have a really special process visual that they can use immediately, give that to them. It's also important to increase the perception of the value of this intellectual property by incorporating it into your speech/presentation. You can do this by making time for the audience to use it during the time you're speaking to them so they experience it immediately. A recent speaker showed a visual self-assessment tool and gave the audience a few minutes to apply it to themselves. Everyone got into it and in conversations later that was one of the most remembered components.

2) Give a usable gift. So many companies give away pens or pads with their logo and phone/website on it and they just leave it on seats or throw it into a bag. That behavior diminishes the value of the gift to a "throw away." Instead, provide a worksheet for each participant and during your speech/presentation ask them to use their (branded) pen to fill in the worksheet. You have now combined intellectual property with a tangible gift, increasing the value of what you've given and strengthening their motivation to reciprocate.

3) Do a favor for the audience that isn't given directly to the audience. For example, you could offer to write a recommendation to the manager of those in attendance reporting how well everyone participated in the program. You could ask the audience to write a list of their top 3 needs, collate them and send that to a superior for action. You could serve as a representative to a group or a erson they wouldn't be able to access themselves and deliver their message.

The outcome of giving these gifts or favors in advance is that they cause our cultural norm of giving back to those who have given to us to kick in. Then when you ask them for something--a testimonial, to purchase a book or sign up for a teleseminar, many will do so out of a sense of reciprocity. If your call-to-action is to change their behavior in certain circumstances, they will try harder to do so.

When speakers make a difference to audiences, they are appreciated more and grow their own status and stature. Remember reciprocation and include it when you're intending to be persuasive.

Change the Speaking Habits Trap Step-by-Step

Customs and habits make us feel comfortable. We know what to expect in specific circumstances. Yet customs and habits can be horribly BORING. Seriously, how many times have you chafed at the custom of business speakers reading in a monotone from a script? The only reason speakers do this is because they are told to do what everyone expects.

Expecting something is far different from wanting something. You expect to give or receive a boring presentation because that's the way it's always been done. That doesn't mean you actaully want this. So why not pay attention to what people actually want and use those wants to shape your speaking and presenting?

Feeling that it's hard to go against habit and custom? OK, then do it step-by-step rather than in one fell swoop. Add one unexpected technique to your speech or presentation each time, and over a dozen times you will have redirected expectations to meet actual wants.

Suggestions for three easy, not-too-extreme steps to begin with:

1) Speak about the audience in the first sentence or two --that is, as soon as you open your mouth. "Your mission is..." or "You come to work each day to..." or "You make a difference to your customers by..." Another engaging option is to ask the audience to visualize a situation. "Imagine you're about to..." or "Picture (a state or condition)"..." or "You should have been there when..."

That's right, do NOT begin with "Good Morning, I'm so-and-so and I'm honored to be here." Believe me, that is so predictable that they won't even hear you and you also risk that they have tuned out so thoroughly that they miss the next couple of minutes.

Audiences want to know you care about or are thinking about them, not about yourself. So tell them that in clear and compelling language. You can follow this opening with your name if you must.

2) Turn statements of fact into questions. Instead of "Ten percent of our customers complain about our service." say "Can you imagine, 10% of our customers think we could be doing better? What do you think?"

If you want to review actions you've taken in the recent past begin with "How many of these exciting initiatives did you support?" This immediately gets the audience to follow you as they count up the number of initiatives they supported. It's so much more engaging than "Let me review what we've done in the recent past."

3) When you want to explain how a project or action worked, construct the description in three parts: the Challenge, the Actions, and the Results. Then use a few well-selected adjectives to describe the challenge such as "difficult, stressful, serious, or unexpected." Describe the actions taken in the active voice rather than in  the past tense. "Our team does this; then we do that; and we always conclude with..." The results should be described from the perspective of the person or group or product that benefited from the actions.

Three simple steps to evolve away from your speaking habits and customs incrementally. Do one, then add the seocnd the next time, then add the third the time after that. In three speeches/presentations you will change three different habits in ways that feel comfortable to your audiences--and your colleagues.

Need help applying these techniques? Post a comment in our comment box.

 

 

CEOs: Help People Hold Picture of Future in Their Heads

I love this concept from Joseph Jimenez, CEO of Novartis, as expressed in the 10/9/11 NY Times Corner Office column: "I personally believe that if you can't hold something in your head, then you're not going to be able to internalize it and act on it." While the pharmaceutical business is very complicated, Mr. Jimenez "distills the strategy down to its essence for how we're going to win, so that people can hold it in their heads."

How do you do this when you're tasked with talking about where the company is going and what you expect your employees to contribute to reaching that goal? No recitation of facts such as sales trends over the years, projections for the next ten years, and locations and employees can be held in a meaningful way in people's heads. Neither will "Ten Goals" or "Seven Steps to Success" or any other logical lists of actions. And dire predictions, threats or doomsday scenarios never inspire people to do better.

In their really astute book "Made to Stick" Dan Heath and Chip Heath show how the most sticky ideas--ideas that get into people's heads and actually cause them to behave in certain ways--are, first and foremost, SIMPLE. The Heaths cite Southwest Airlines' simple, essential idea: "The low cost airline."

Every employee and vendor from pilots to food prep companies to cleaning service employees can hold that concept in their heads. No long speeches about the cost of fuel, the competition or safety regulations are needed. Just repetition of this concept and lots of stories about how each person can make it happen.

That's something you can do, whether you're the CEO of a company in a complex industry like pharmaceuticals or aviation, or the CEO of a growing IT company. You can create a message that people can hold in their heads even as a division manager or a group vice president.

Speaking and the communcation of strategy doesn't need to be complicated, full of buzz words and lengthy. Articulate your message in a way that is sticky and that can easily be held in people's heads.

What's your experience with compact messages that are repeatable by everyone across your company? Post your thoughts in our comment box.

What's Persuasive-Authority, Expertise or Likability?

You may hold authority over your audience or you might a reknowned leading expert but these attributes are not persuasive in and of themselves. It's your likability that makes the difference between the audience merely listening and actually taking action.

Likability comes from give and take between you and the audience rather than only a sunny, optimistic and friendly persona. The give and take is make or break...

Let's say you know your audience members have been using certain words or phrases and tone of voice to describe their current problem. It might be "I never have enough time to finish one task before they throw another one at me." There's a whining quality to this and it ends on a tone of exasperation. You're going to speak to them about some ways to improve their use of time.

You could make a list of ten steps that will help them use their time better. You can use quotes from productivity experts. You can give them better calendaring software and share new rules about scheduling. And none of this, no matter how sensical it is, will change their minds and their behavior.

Unless...you begin by repeating their exact words and the tones they say them in. Research has proven that mirroring the other person's (or group's) behavior is experienced as give and take. You've given them recognition in the form of their very own words and sounds. You've taken them seriously. You 'get' them. Now, they will listen and might even try some of the suggestions you make.

Can it be this easy? Just quote the audience in their own language, and they'll behave as you wish them to? There's more to persuasion, such as the call-to-action really being in their self-interest and doable with their available resources. However, when you begin with their language and they feel appreciated and understood, the likelihood they'll adopt at least some of your steps nearly triples.

Never rely on your authority or expertise to persuade. Instead be likable, and like the audience, and the persuasion follows naturally.

What are your experiences with quoting your audience in order to persuade them?

Following the Speaking Crowd Feels Really Safe

You know yourself that you hate it when speakers read their slides to you. And you're not alone, as close to 75% of audience members surveyed made "reading slides to us" their number one complaint in a recent survey by Power Point expert Dave Paradi.

I made a big mistake in my last post when I jumped right to three methods to avoid falling into the trap of reading your slides. You know how to avoid it--yet you will do it over and over again. The more important question is 'Why?"--for heaven's sake, why do this when you and everyone else hates it?

You do it because it feels safe. Every other presenter you see does it; your boss does it; the senior managers do it; speakers at industry conferences do it. In short, you're only doing what everyone else does, even though most people complain about it. Is there an explanation for what seems to be counter-productive behavior?

Researchers into the psychology of persuasion have proven over years of studies that people gravitate to social proof. They do what others do because it is safe, low risk and easy. I'm not bashing anyone for gravitating to safety, low risk and easiness. We need all the help we can get in our busy and high-pressure lives.

I do think that understanding these reasons is helpful. You now understand that you do have the choice of moving away from the pack and distinguishing yourself from all other business presenters. In other words, you don't have to do what everyone else does because there's a law about it. You can make your own decision to lead the pack instead of being solidly in the middle of it.

The next time you're tempted to do it because "that's the way we always do it" STOP! Ask what could you gain from a new approach that would be more powerful than the safety and low-risk of the same old approach? Add up the pros and take one fresh, new step for your next presentation. Your audience will be very glad you did. And you may just start the next new trend instead of being in the middle of the pack.

Post your experiments with creating a new speaking model in our comment link.